


Aww, Scared?

by Xaliacx



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Athena helps Hanzo and Genji scare the piss out of Jesse like the MVP she is, Fluff and Smut, Hanzo and Genji are little shits that perpetuate his weariness of bad luck, Hanzo and Jesse are married fight me, Hanzo is fun and can be very mischievous, Jesse gets a serious case of blue balls, Jesse is superstitious, M/M, Oni Genji Shimada, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, hana angela and jack are all accomplices, i actually put a lot of work into naming the dragons, mentions of Torb and Satya, orchids are apology flowers i did my research, took me almost 45 mins to pin down exactly what i wanted them to be named
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-16 20:04:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11836065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xaliacx/pseuds/Xaliacx
Summary: This is going to be a collection with multiple ships! I'll update tags as I go. I've got about 6 parts planned out so far. The general theme is practical jokes. Enjoy!





	1. Operation Dragonstrike (Part 1)

**Author's Note:**

> This is for my main binch, Jay. Happy Birthday bby 
> 
>  
> 
> Hanzo and Genji indulge in an elaborate plan to scare Jesse perpetuated by his adherence to superstitions.

It's become routine for Jesse, Hanzo, and Genji to sit around one of the the Watchpoint common rooms after dinner. It holds a nice view of the horizon, the edge of the cliffs, and the setting sun. 

Jesse McCree is the last person to admit his superstitions. He doesn't believe all of it, but he's still weary of warnings pertaining to bad luck or otherworldly meddling. Hanzo and Genji reminisce about Hanamura together when they were children; sharing stories of their competitive relationship. The last time Jesse was in Hanamura was 20 years ago and he was technically supposed to be on an undercover mission at Shimada castle, but most of his time was spent in Hanzo’s room. 

Hanzo has long since grown out of believing superstitions. As Genji shares his story of an instance in the arcade, Jesse’s eyes wander a bit. He just briefly scans the ceiling when he comes to the last corner and wishes he hadn't looked up. A large black spider rests in its web. Jesse has never liked spiders. He wouldn't go so far as to say he was afraid of them, but he'd rather they not be within at least 500 feet of him. Especially if it's bigger than a quarter. His expression twists with discontent, a slight groan escapes his mouth that draws the attention of both Hanzo and Genji up to the spider. 

Genji looks past McCree out the window. It's already dark out. He shoots Hanzo a very sly smile and receives a matching smirk in return. 

“McCree, this spider came to you at night. You must kill it or you will have bad luck.”

Jesse furrows his brows in disbelief. “Very funny. I don't believe in none of that bad luck shit.”

Hanzo is right on cue to solidify the beginning of this on-the-fly plan he and Genji created without even needing to speak. 

Jesse never second guesses Hanzo’s stoic face and convincing voice, “it's true, Jesse. In Japan, if you find a spider in the morning it is good luck and you should not kill it. But if a spider comes to you at night, it's a sign of bad luck and you should kill it so you don't become unlucky.” 

Jesse shifts slightly in his seat. Enough to signal discomfort, but not nervousness. “Aw sunshine, even you believe in this garbage?”

“I'd rather not take my chances,” Hanzo says, flashing Genji a knowing glance while Jesse is still fixated on the spider. 

Genji stands, stretching a bit before making his way to the door and putting his faceplate back on, “I am going to meditate, goodnight.”

Jesse and Hanzo give a wave as Genji leaves the room. 

Hanzo stands from his seat next to Jesse, extending his hand. “Care to join me?”

“Where are we goin’ exactly?”

Jesse takes his hand, standing up to a full head taller than Hanzo. A chaste and teasing kiss is pressed to his cheek. 

“You will see.” 

. 

\-------  
Jesse forgot about the spider. Hanzo and Genji did not. Hanzo slept soundly next to Jesse, comfortably warm against his personal furnace. Jesse is sweating under the blankets. Having his husband sleep next to him every night is a domestic dream come true until he's suffocating from heat stroke. His stomach growls as he attempts to untangle himself from the vice grip Hanzo holds on him. He attaches his prosthetic arm with as little noise as possible. He does his best to not wake his sleeping dragon, but his stomach betrays him by loudly growling right next to Hanzo's ear. Hanzo cracks one eye open to see Jesse haphazardly trying to lift his heavy arm off of his abdomen. 

“Hungry are we?” 

Jesse startles at the sudden noise breaking his concentration, exhaling with relief.

“You startled me, darlin’.”

Hanzo lets out a satisfied chuckle, “Boo.”

“Sorry angelfish, I didn't mean to wake ya.” 

“I was already awake. I wanted to see how long it took before you would actually get up.” 

Hanzo sits up and they share a gentle and sweet good morning kiss. Jesse runs his hand up and down Hanzo's dragon tattoo, feeling the soft skin beneath his callused fingers. 

“How's about some food, vanilla bean?”

Hanzo sighs, sitting up and tying his hair back away from his face with his gold ribbon. Jesse pulls on a grey shirt that stretches across his chest just a little too tightly. He walks over to Hanzo’s side of the bed, kneeling down to put Hanzo’s prosthetics on him.

“Jesse, please, I can do that myself.” 

“I know, but I wanted to do it for ya.” 

Hanzo ran his hand through Jesse’s unruly brown hair, enamored with how soft it is. He rests his hand on Jesse’s cheek, gently swiping a thumb over his full lips. Jesse brings his own hand up to cover Hanzo’s, letting some of the weight of his head rest. 

“I do not deserve you.”

“Nonsense.” 

After a moment of quiet affection, Jesse stands. Hanzo follows to the bathroom to brush his teeth and finish getting dressed before making their way to the kitchen. 

\----

The kitchen is still besides the preparation of morning tea and coffee. The crisp silence of 7:30 in the morning. They certainly were not the first ones awake on the base. Jesse had to replace the coffee filter, which Jack often forgets to do after getting his coffee at whatever ungodly time he decides to get up. Hanzo is already sitting at a table with his tea, waiting for it to steep and cool a bit before he takes a sip. Jesse waits for what feels like an eternity for the coffee maker to fill his mug which reads ‘#1 Cowboy’. He takes his mug and sits beside his archer. He takes a sip and immediately spits it out with a disgusted look on his face as he examines the contents of his cup.

“What the fuck?”

“What is the problem?”

“My coffee is fuckin’ ice cold. This is some bullshit right here.”

Hanzo breaks into a slight smile over Jesse’s coffee plight with a deep ‘hmm’ of amusement. 

“This ain’t funny.”

Jesse sets his mug down forcefully, resulting in a small wave of cold coffee being splashed into his lap. He jolted out of his seat, knocking over his cup and spilling the rest of its contents onto the table. Jesse exhales deeply out of frustration. 

“Ah shit, there’s fuckin’ coffee everywhere now. It’s just not my mornin’ apparently.”

Hanzo grabbed some paper towels to help clean up the mess Jesse made. 

“Did you ever kill the spider last night like Genji and I told you to?”

Hanzo’s inquiry is met with a groan of irritation. 

Jesse’s responds sharply, “What does that spider have to do with this?”

“We told you, a spider coming to you at night is bad luck.”

“That’s a load of horse shit and you know it.”

Hanzo shrugs and cleans up the last of the spilled coffee before returning to his seat to enjoy his tea. 

Jesse rushes out of the room, painfully aware of his coffee-soaked underwear. “I’ll be back, gotta go change my pants.”

Genji enters the kitchen to see Hanzo sitting at the table by himself. He looks up to find his brother sporting a confused expression. 

“Where was Jesse going so quickly?”

Hanzo can’t help but laugh a little, “his coffee came out cold and he spilled it on himself and all over the table.”

“The cold coffee may have been my doing,” Genji says with a sly smile. 

“Aniki, you did not! Fix it before he comes back!” Hanzo tried to maintain a brotherly authority, but his stifled giggling rids of any sincerity in his demand. 

Genji sits across from his brother, enjoying his company when a deadpan-faced Jesse walks back into the room and stands behind Hanzo. 

“Good morning, McCree”

“Mornin’.” 

Genji pretends he hasn’t already been made aware of the situation. “You seem grouchy. Has something happened?”

“Just a bit of a coffee mishap this mornin’.”

“Unfortunate.”

Jesse plants a kiss to the top of Hanzo’s head. “I’ll be back in a little while darlin’, I gotta go see Satya about some fancy wrench for m’ arm.”

Jesse leaves the brothers once again, unknowingly leaving them to their childish scheming. Hanzo was careful not to let his serious and stoic personality break very often, yet when he was around Genji, Hanzo found himself indulging in his playful side more frequently. Being around Genji helps him feel like he can be his unapologetically charming and witty self. 

\-----------

Genji wanders the halls of the Watchpoint in an effort to clear his mind. Zenyatta is gone on a visit to Nepal, so he has had much more time to himself. He’s surprised to hear noise in the medbay this late in the evening. As he walks past one of the prosthetic wards, he hears faint clanging followed by indecipherable yelling. Upon finding the source of the noise, he’s surprised to see a shirtless, sweaty Jesse hunched over a metal table and a light. 

“Jesse, what are you doing?” 

He bolts upright to look back at his friend standing in the doorway. 

“What does it look like to you?”

“I’m not quite sure. Sounded like Torbjorn trying to build a turret at first.”

Jesse shoots Genji a mocking expression, “Very funny. I got a fuckin’ bolt cross threaded in one of my knuckles, so now I can’t bend my middle finger.”

He holds up his arm, showing Genji the mishap. 

Genji tries not to laugh, but the situation in front of him is utterly ridiculous. 

“Let me see if I can fix it.” 

Jesse tosses the screwdriver Genji’s way with exasperation, resting his arm back on the table under the light and magnification. 

“How did you cross thread this screw? You’ve done this a thousand times.”

“I don’t know, shit’s beyond me. Today is not my day apparently. Bad shit happening to me all day and I’m just plain tired of it.” 

“That’s rough,” Genji sets down the screwdriver, and picks up a very small wrench to check a few of the other bolts in Jesse’s wrist joints. He makes quick work of the prosthetic. “There. All fixed.”

“Thank ya. I’ve just had a real bad string of bad luck today.”

“Did you ever kill that spider from last night?”

Jesse looks away, unsure of if he should be weary of the warnings, or to brush the day off as pure coincidence. 

“No, but Hanzo told me about the bad luck thing already. Today is just pure coincidence, you’ll see.”

Genji raises his eyebrows in disbelief, “Sure it is.” He turns to walk out the door as he bids Jesse goodnight. He couldn’t have done much better than messing with the coffee maker, but Jesse took care of that himself. 

Jesse rolls his eyes and turns off the light above the desk. He puts the tools away and proceeds to go back to his room and hopefully find his husband waiting for him so they can go on an evening walk. The door to his room slides open and he finds Hanzo laying on the floor playing on a datapad. He goes over to greet his dragon with a little more than just a peck to apologize for his timing. 

“Sorry I’m so late sunflower, I was havin’ an issue with my arm.”

Hanzo sits up, “It’s alright, my dove. Are you ready for our walk?”

“Yeah, I’m going ta grab a jacket. It’s startin’ to get a little chilly outside.” 

Hanzo nods, taking Jesse’s bright red serape off of the back of a chair and wrapping it around himself while he waits by the door. Jesse returns and takes Hanzo’s hand. He leads him out of their room and out into the crisp night air of Gibraltar. The sky was clear and the stars were more visible than usual. They both have a sincere appreciation of the reflection of the moon on the calm water lapping at the cliffs of the base. 

Jesse’s arm is wrapped around Hanzo, keeping him pulled close as they walk the perimeter of the base. They bask in the comfortable silence that surrounds them. He emits a quiet whistle that slowly gets louder. Hanzo lets him go on for a while until he finally decides to put his plan into action. 

“Did you know that whistling at night brings snakes to you?”

Jesse immediately stops. “Really?” He doesn’t want to believe Hanzo, but after today he might reconsider listening to the warnings he’s given. 

Hanzo forces himself to hide a smile, “Yes, really.” 

“Are there any other tokens of bad luck I should be aware of so I don’t die tomorrow?” Jesse asks somewhat seriously. He was being a bit snide in part, but his belief in superstitions were enough to be getting the better of him.

“Well, the most notable I can think of is that the number four is very unlucky. In Japanese, ‘four’ translates to ‘shi’, which is spelled and pronounced like the word death.”

The only thing Jesse could say was “wow.” 

“Have you ever noticed how many ladders are on this base? It must be quite easy to walk under one by accident,” Hanzo noted. 

Jesse examined his surroundings, wondering how he never realized how many open ladders there are just sitting around. His mind began to wander as they did. They come to rest on the cliffside, admiring the view. They sit up against a rock, Hanzo curled into Jesse’s side and his head on his shoulder. 

“Do you mind if the dragons come out?” Hanzo asked. Jesse could feel the tingle and the energy emanating through Hanzo’s arm under the serape. The dragons are restless. They need opportunities to roam and expend energy. Ancient beings made of bright blue energy that need playtime. 

“Of course darlin’, you know I love them.”

Hanzo smiles warmly as his tattoo begins to light up. It follows the coil under the serape as two snake-like dragons slither into being. They twirl around Jesse and Hanzo, nuzzling them before zipping away and floating around each other. Communicative squeaks and chirps fill the air between Watatsumi and Mizuchi as they chase each other. Their playful nature is always pleasantly surprising to Jesse. He sees them most often when they are summoned out of necessity on a mission. The best think he can think of is ‘wow those are some weird lookin’ dogs.’

“Hey Han,”

“Hm?”

“I love ya.”

Hanzo rests his hand on Jesse’s chest, feeling his heartbeat and the warmth of his body. He presses a gentle kiss to Jesse’s neck. 

“I love you.”

 

\--------

 

 

Jesse wakes to Hanzo kissing him and whispering that he’ll be back later. He falls back asleep before he even hears the swoosh of the door close. It’s another couple of hours before he wakes up. He hasn’t much to do today. He figured he’ll go to the town close by and enjoy the sights and shops. It’s been a good while since he’s had a day to himself. 

 

\----

He’s back at the base before dinnertime. He always enjoys a visit to town. It takes him a few seconds to register that it’s unusually dark in the base. It strikes him as odd that the hallways with agent’s rooms are so dark. Athena powers all the lights on base. Maybe she’s doing some maintenance? He can see the dim light of the emergency exit strips on the floor. 

J̫̥͈̟͍ͅ ̶͙e̞͖̹̜̫ s͓̗̟̝̠̕ s̠̤̹ͅ ̙̙̤͖͖͉̘e̺͉̪̻ͅ ͔.̝͓̰͍ ̗̫.͡ ͓̲̜͚.̙̺̟͢

 

He cautiously makes his way down the hall. Jesse could’ve sworn he heard someone say his name. Scanning the hallway behind him with reluctance, but finding nobody. He shrieks so loudly that it echoes when he feels something rather heavy slide across the top of his boot and slither into the darkness. He caught a glimpse of a green tail. Gibraltar doesn’t have snakes, does it? His pulse races, and he can feel his heart beating in his ears. He feels his way with shaking hands, finding his nameplate and getting the door open to find more darkness. He uses his phone as a flashlight instead, but to no avail. His room feels colder than usual. 

“What the everlovin’ fuck is goin’ on here?” He says to himself as a method of personal reassurance. 

J̫̥͈̟͍ͅ ̶͙ e̞͖̹̜̫ s͓̗̟̝̠̕ s̠̤̹ͅ ̙̙̤͖͖͉̘e̺͉̪̻ͅ ͔ .̝͓̰͍ ̗̫.͡ ͓̲̜͚.̙̺̟͢ 

At this point, he flops onto his bed out of sheer annoyance, trying to calm his nerves down. Weird shit has been happening to him the last couple days, so he’s not exactly surprised at the current situation. He closes his eyes for a bit. He bolts upright when he hears shuffling around the room, shining his phone light around to try and find the source. When he deems the room clear enough to lay back down again, he catches a glimpse of white and red as he’s putting his phone down. Enough of a glimpse to investigate further. He stands up, adrenaline in high gear, phone in his shaking flesh hand, metal hand at the ready to pummel any bad luck that’s trying to fuck with him. He starts to hear a faint hissing noise. It’s quiet. Could be a pipe? That’s what he tells himself. 

He scans the room again. Slowly dragging the light around the room. Jesse freezes. The light shines on a crouching figure with a horrifying face. It screeches and pounces at him from the top of the bookcase as he shines his light on it. A blood-curdling scream that could be heard from across the base rips from Jesse’s throat. He stumbles backwards into a solid mass that ensnares him as he drops his phone, rendering him unable to escape. 

The creepy-ass figure stops short of him. He can’t see that ugly face anymore, but he also couldn’t see the face under it as a mask was removed. A familiar voice calls out. 

“Athena, lights please!”

The lights all flicker to life with a thrum, looking around his room frantically and recognizing the dragon tattoo on one of the strong arms around him. 

“You guys. Are fucking dicks. You scared the piss outta me!”

Genji and Hanzo can’t contain their laughter anymore. Genji is doubled over on the ground, consumed by uncontrollable giggles and cackling. Jesse is seething with latent fear and irritation. His pulse is racing, but he’s been in much worse situations with better composure than most men could ever have. Jesse feels Hanzo laughing into the crook of his neck from behind. 

“Genji what the living fuck is that mask!” 

Genji had to take a second to stand up and try to stop laughing before he answered, “It is an oni mask, symbolizing the face of a demon that would punish the unjust. Do you like it?” 

Jesse glares daggers into Genji’s skull, “Like it? You just scared the shit out of me with it!” 

Hanzo’s laughter beginning to subside, “I do agree, it was a bit over the top, but we set it up so perfectly. This was executed to perfection.” 

Jesse turned his attention to Hanzo, who had since let go of him. 

“C’mon darlin’, I’d expect this from cyborg demon over there, but you?”

Hanzo smirks a bit, “Do you forget that I also can be fun sometimes?” 

Jesse crosses his arms and looks down at Hanzo, whose face was flushed from the excitement. “That. That was not fun. But don’tchy’all worry, I’ll getcha back,” He warns sternly. 

Genji and Hanzo share a glance. 

“We will see about that.”


	2. Revenge of the Cowboy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse gets back at Hanzo and Genji for scaring the living hell out of him. However, they don't take to it lightly. Hanzo always has the last laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the angst whoops (no im not) if it hurts, i did my job

Oh they’ll see alright. Jesse has been stewing over trying to think of a way to scare Hanzo and Genji worse than they scared him. They’ve both had smug looks on their face all week while they bask in the glory of their terrifying victory. This is a competition now. It takes him almost five days, but he’s finally thought of something that’s going to punch their shitty expressions right off their faces. It wasn’t until the night before a mission when he’s taking a shower that the idea strikes him. After his shower, he joins Hanzo in their bed. The devious idea improving his mood tenfold. Snoring blue coils sit on Hanzo’s feet at the end of the bed. 

Jesse pulls Hanzo close to him, enjoying the company before he’s sweating out his ass in Dorado for a mission. Hanzo curls into Jesse, resting his head on his chest and inhaling deeply. His fingers trace over solid muscle absentmindedly. He cards his hand through Hanzo’s silky hair. The short waterfall of jet black is nothing less than stunning. He runs the small wings of grey between his fingers.

“Darlin’ that tickles”

Hanzo cracks a smile, “Good. What time do you have to leave tomorrow morning?”

“Winston said 8:30. Are ya gonna see me off?”

“As always.” 

They enjoy a few minutes of quiet relaxation. Hanzo listens to the beating heart of his cowboy, memorizing the feeling of how soft his skin is. Watatsumi and Mizushi move from their spots to pile themselves onto Jesse as much as they possibly could. 

“They will miss you, Jesse.” 

Jesse sighs contentedly as he pets the mass of dragon covering him. If he died right there, he would die a very happy man. His husband in one arm and dragons in the other. 

Hanzo brings a hand up to Jesse’s face and tucks a strand of wet hair away from his face. He holds Jesse’s jaw and brings his own face closer to steal a gentle yet passionate kiss. He presses his forehead against Jesse’s. The feeling of closeness is more intimate to Hanzo than any type of sex could ever be. It isn’t long before they all doze off to the silent appreciation of the other’s presence. 

 

\------

Hanzo wakes to the sound of running water. Jesse was already awake and in the bathroom getting dressed with Watatsumi and Mizushi hanging off of his neck like scaly scarves. 

Hanzo puts on his prosthetics, followed by a tank top and some athletic pants while Jesse finishes up in the bathroom. He might as well not have a shirt on at all because the tank top doesn’t cover much besides his waist. They match his prosthetics, but at what cost? He sits on the edge of the bed rubbing the sleep from his eyes, not bothering to tie up his hair. 

Jesse pokes his head out of the bathroom and his face lights up when he sees his dragon has finally awoken. 

“Mornin’ sunshine.” 

A tired groan is elicited in response. “Good morning. Do you have everything you need?” 

“Think so.”

The dragons return to Hanzo, vanishing into thin air. A telltale wave of blue energy rolls up Hanzo’s arm, then settles into its rightful place among the stormy blue ink.

Hanzo takes Jesse's serape from its place on the back of the chair, wrapping himself in it and scenting it before Jesse takes it. Jesse grabs his duffel bag with one hand and wraps his free arm around Hanzo’s shoulders. They leave their room to be greeted with a bright sun sitting low in the morning sky. They walk to the landing pad in comfortable silence. Jesse sets down his bag to hold his husband in a tight hug. Hanzo steps back, taking the serape from around his shoulders and putting it around Jesse’s. He grips the ends of it in strong fists, using it to bring Jesse's face down to his own kiss him goodbye and hold their foreheads together for a brief moment. 

“Be safe. I love you.” 

“I'll always come back for ya, stardust. Love ya to the moon and back. It's only a week.” 

Jesse makes his way into the carrier, waving at Hanzo from the window as it takes off. 

 

\-------

 

The team is stuck in an abandoned house on the outskirts of Dorado. The static from lightning interferes with their surveillance equipment and the humidity from the thunderstorm makes it unbearable to be outside. It's been 3 days, and there's no sign of Talon activity. Jack makes everyone to stay inside and have a bit of a break after clearing out an old, dilapidated Talon warehouse. Jesse excuses himself from the room, leaving Angela, Hana, and Jack to their own devices. He goes into what used to be an office, quietly shutting the door and sitting in the old leather desk chair that's been left next to a broken oak desk. 

Hanzo is laying in bed reading when his phone buzzes. He's been expecting the cowboy to call eventually. He's on a simple mission, so he was bound to call eventually. 

“Hello, Jesse,” he starts, “how is the mission?” 

Jesse exhales deeply, “it'd be a whole lot better if you were here.”

He hears little reaction besides a “hmm,” which sounded much more sultry than the previous greeting. 

“Jesse…,” Hanzo says in a low voice.

He inhales sharply, “yes, my king?” 

“The dragon hungers.”

The purr in Hanzo's voice practically melts the phone. Jesse leans his head back in the chair and covers his face with his hat. It's not like Hanzo can see his furious blushing. 

“Baby, as much as I'd love to participate, I've got three people on the other side of paper thin walls that are within earshot.”

“Oh? Is that so? That is unfortunate indeed,” Hanzo says teasingly.

He knows how much his voice alone can get Jesse worked up. It takes all of Jesse's willpower not to rub one out right then and there, but a mild case of blue balls will have to be what it is. His breathing is slightly hitched, and Hanzo can hear the slight difference in his voice that clues him into his success in reducing his husband down to a puddle with only a few words. If he stays on the phone, he's not going to last much longer. His pants are already uncomfortably tight.

Jesse stumbles to get the words out, “I gotta go, we can pick this up when I get back. You're killin’ me sugar. That sweet voice o’ yours is torturous. Lurin’ me to an early grave.”

A teasingly disappointed pout and sigh form on Hanzo's lips, though he still did exactly what he planned to do when Jesse called. He returns to his normal gruff tone. 

“That has never stopped you before. But I will see you when you get back then. I love you.” 

“Love ya too, sugarplum.”

Jesse hangs up and is in desperate need of a cold shower. He sighs in exasperation and gets up to rejoin the group. Now is a good of a time as any to get the team on board with what he's been planning for the last few days. 

“I need y’all’s help with somethin’.”

They look up at Jesse, expecting him to elaborate further on his previous statement. Jack and Angela sit on a dusty old couch. Jack’s pulse rifle is sitting on an old coffee table that's been thoroughly coated in dust. He was probably cleaning it and admiring it. Angela just finished making minor adjustments to her staff, and she has it locked away in its rightful case to keep it safe. 

Hana is sitting on the floor. She breaks her attention from her portable game with hesitation, “with what? Are you fighting with your man?”

“I need y'all to pretend I'm dead when we go back to the base.”

Immense confusion swept across the room. 

“Why do you need us to do that?,” Angela asks. Looks of concern towards McCree flicker across all of their faces as they glance at each other, looking for an explanation. 

“It's a bit of a long story-”

Jack interrupted, “Give us the short version, then.”

Jesse sighs, “Hanzo and Genji scared me half to death last week an’ I'm tryna get ‘em back.”

All of them are clearly not thrilled with the idea. 

“Angela, I need yer help most of all. Jack and Hana, I just need y’all to keep yer mouths shut and make it seem convincing.” 

Hana shrugs, “I suppose I can do that. I’m an actress after all. But you sure you want to do this? It’ll be your funeral.” She goes back to her game, only half listening to the conversation.

Angela looks very skeptical, “Jesse how are you going to do this if you’re not actually going to be hurt when we get back?”

Jack chimes in, “Angela, you’re there for when Shimada finds out it’s fake and breaks his neck and needs to be fed through a tube.”

“It’ll be fine don’t y’all worry. I’ve thought this through. Ya want to know how it’ll be convincing?”

Jack sits back, crossing his arms. “Actually, I’m interested in this plan of yours. How are you gonna do it, genius?”

Jesse makes his flesh hand into a finger gun pointing up at his right eye. 

Angela rests her head in her hand. “That’s a bit dangerous, dear. You know how badly your eye bleeds if you use it when it’s not necessary. This seems a bit…-”

“Stupid. The word you’re looking for is stupid.”

“That’s not exactly the word I was going for, but Jack isn’t wrong.”

Jesse rolls his eyes, “Are y’all gonna help me or not?”

Jack throws his hands up in a non-argumentative shrug, “It’s your funeral.”  
Jesse’s pointed gaze is fixed on Angela, “So?” 

“I suppose I have no choice in this. What do I have to do?”

“You just gotta patch me up, sneak into medbay without anyone seeing, then call Genji an’ Hanzo down and then just get outta the room. Do you have anything that’ll slow my pulse rate an’ make my skin real cold?”

Angela sighs with defeat, “I suppose I do. It’ll have to be done before we land, and we can use the tunnel for emergency transport patients so you’re not seen.”

Jesse puts a hand up, “Hold on right there, did you just say tunnel for emergency medbay trips?”

“Yes?” 

“In all my years with Blackwatch, how come I never knew about that tunnel?”

“Actually Jesse, you’ve been through it a couple times, but you may not remember because you were unconscious,” she replies sardonically. 

Jesse opens his mouth to say something, but he’s at a loss for words. There’s no way he could think of any good comeback for that blatant statement. Before he can open his mouth again, he’s cut off by Hana.

“Not to interrupt your scheming here, but when are we gonna eat? I’m starving.”

 

\----------------

 

Hanzo is notified by Winston that the team came back from Dorado a little earlier than expected. He makes his way down to the landing pad to see it already cleared out save for Hana’s MEKA and some extra supplies that Jack and Hana are putting away. Hanzo is puzzled. He looks around, but sees no sign of his cowboy. He approaches them, Hana turning to face him. Her face doleful.

“Hana?” 

“Hey Robin Hood, if you’re looking for Jesse, he’s in medbay.”

Hanzo feels panic bubbling. He doesn’t say another word before he’s rushing down to the medical wing of the base. He’s running down the hallway to the one room with a light on. He stops at the doorway, his face falls. Jesse lays on the metal table, lifeless and still. Angela is preparing for a medical procedure. Her face eerily calm. Hanzo slowly approaches the table. She goes to him, putting a hand softly on his shoulder. 

“I called Genji, he should be down here in a moment. I’ll let you have some time alone.”

He nods. She silently leaves the room, swiftly going into her office and immediately closes the door behind her. She does not want to be there for what is about to happen. She lets go of the breath she didn’t realize she was holding. 

Hanzo is overcome with emotions. He touches Jesse’s face, gently running his thumb over the blood-soaked gauze on his right eye. His skin cool and stiff under Hanzo’s fingertips. He holds Jesse’s flesh hand, kissing it delicately as tears begin to spill. Feeling the strands of dark brown hair between his shaking fingers. He picks Jesse’s head up to wrap his arms around his dead husband’s neck. No pulse. No heartbeat. 

Wet anger fills his mourning soul. “You promised me you would come back. You fucking promised. You reckless man. You are my fire and light.” 

Jesse’s heart breaks at Hanzo’s sentiment. Only twice in his life has he ever seen Hanzo cry. This was the second time. Jesse opens his left eye slightly, only for his vision to be covered with a sea of blackness. Hanzo’s inky hair is covering Jesse’s face. He was in too far, no turning back now. He hears the tapping of Genji’s metal steps against the tile growing louder and closer. 

Genji nearly breaks down the door trying to get it open. “Aniki, is everything alr-,” He cuts himself off.

Jesse can feel the emotions of the men in the room. Genji sits on Angela’s swivel stool next to Jesse’s table. He doesn’t know what to feel. Another life, another friend ripped away from him before his eyes. He feels empty. He rests his face in his hands, crumpling into himself. 

Hanzo’s weight still on Jesse, he hasn’t moved for what seems like hours. Hanzo’s tears are wet on his face, his cheek pressed against Jesse’s own. He hears Hanzo muttering to himself. 

It’s time. 

His heart would be pounding right now if it were not for Angela’s weird medical supplies. 

“Boo,” He whispers into Hanzo’s ear.

Hanzo nearly jumps out of his skin. He lurches back, knocking against another table. The man’s grief turns into seething ire. Genji picks his head up to inspect the noise, but instead sees a sheepish smile across the ‘dead’ man’s face. Genji is still silent, only now he shares his brother’s anger. He calmly stands up, forcefully knocking the stool over and makes a hasty exit, slamming the door behind him.

“Jesse James McCree,” Hanzo begins. His voice dangerously gritty and his face still wet with tears is fixed to a visage of calm rage. “You are a dead man.”

Jesse gets up off the table, holding out his arms in an attempt to console his fuming husband. 

“Aw darlin’, I’m sorry. I was tryna get ya back from when you and yer brother scared me half to death.”

Hanzo’s hands were shaking, his voice abrasive, “I thought I lost you.”

His words were pure venom. Rightfully angry, though unrelentingly intimidating. He wipes the tears from his face with his sleeve. He just felt the full spectrum of human emotion in a matter of 15 minutes. He pulls his hair away from his face, attempting to calm himself down. 

“Do not ever do that to me again!”

He was yelling now. His gaze on Jesse felt like daggers. Against his better judgement, he hugs Jesse in relief of one his worst fears not coming true. He takes a moment to bury his face in Jesse’s chest and inhale the familiar earthy scent. 

“If you ever do that again, I will cut out your throat with your own spurs and hang your body out to dry with your serape.” 

Jesse’s voice is soft as he pets Hanzo’s hair, “That’s a little harsh, isn’t it?”

Hanzo pulls back to look Jesse in the eye, “Considering what you have just put me through, I think it is humane. I would even go so far as to make your death quick. Not painless, just quick.”

“That’s fair. Are you still angry with me, dragonfly?” 

“Oh I am very angry with you. If I were you, I would count your days. It’s bad luck to anger a dragon.”

Hanzo lets go of Jesse, taking the hat off of his head and pushing it into his cowboy’s face that was frozen with intimidation. Jesse sometimes forgets how dark Hanzo's humor can be; dauntingly facetious. He leaves Jesse alone in medbay to make sense of the situation. Hana and Angela wait for Hanzo to pass the office door before entering the room. 

Hana rebukes knowingly, “So how’d it go?”

Jesse reflects on the last five minutes. “Um. I’m not sure. He said he’d cut my throat with my own spurs.”

“Oooh...that’s rough,” she snorts, “You’ll probably be sleeping on the floor for a month. I’d sleep with one eye open for a while. You married a dude who’s nice enough to kill you in your sleep.”

Angela agrees with a nod. 

“Thanks fer the help, ladies.”

Angela knows Hanzo is not happy with her either. 

“You’re welcome, Jesse. Now go apologize to both of them.”

“I did apologize!” 

Angela narrows her eyes at him. “Apologize for real.”

‘Alright, alright. Not fer nothin’, y’all helped me out.”

Hana had already left the room to go apologize for being an accomplice.

“Yes, I know. I planned on apologizing later to smooth it over for you, because that’s the kind of friend I am. I’m not a miracle worker, you know.”

Jesse gave Angela a side hug, much to her dismay, “Yer the best, Angela.” 

She rolls her eyes, “You better get going before I give you a reason to need medical services.”

Jesse turns to leave, “Point taken.”

 

\-----------

 

Jesse returns to his room to find it empty, and he’s not sure whether to be a little sad or relieved. A little bit of both maybe. It’s still early yet, so he figured he’d take a shower and head to the flower shop in town to help with his apology. 

Hanzo goes back down to medbay in hopes of finding Angela. She was in her office as he predicted. He proceeded into the room, startling her. It was evident she was not expecting him. 

“I’m a bit disappointed in you assisting Jesse with that little stunt he pulled. However, I must admire your talent for maintaining a convincing composure and façade.”

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, unsure how to simultaneously take a compliment and apologize. Angela fidgets with a pen in her nervousness. 

“I’m sorry Hanzo, I knew it was wrong. I tried to talk him out of it.”

“I accept your apology. I am not upset with you.” 

She sighs in relief. 

“Do not be so gentle on him next time he actually gets hurt,” he says jokingly, a slight smirk on his lips. Hanzo leaves just as quickly as he entered. There is really nothing left to do, but there is still a lot of daylight left. He decides to go to Genji’s room. His brother likely needs the company.

 

\---------

 

Later that night, Jesse goes back to his room and is relieved to see Hanzo laying down on their bed. He’s facing away from Jesse, but the telltale swoosh of the door opening and closing alerts him of the cowboy’s presence. He turns over to see his husband holding a blue orchid in one hand and his serape in the other. Hanzo’s perfectly symmetrical features set in a stone-faced glare towards Jesse.

Jesse feels Hanzo burning a hole through his skull with his unwavering stare. 

“Y’know you could kill a man with that thousand-yard stare o’ yers.” McCree shuts his mouth when he realizes the cruel irony of his statement.

Hanzo gets up and takes the flower from Jesse, admiring it silently. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I really am.”

“Do you understand how afraid I was? You really did a wonderful job of scaring me. I thought one of my worst fears had come true.” Hanzo’s words were growing more intense as he spoke. For a small man, he had a larger than life presence that made Jesse feel like an ant.

“I thought you were dead! Genji thought you were dead! I don’t think I’ve ever seen my brother that upset since we were children.”

Hanzo begins to calm himself, his voice returning to its normal level, still with a bit of a bite in his tone. He takes a few deep breaths to balance his thoughts. 

“I should make you sleep outside for this,” Hanzo says angrily. Jesse has never seen Hanzo so angry before. He spoke with calm intentions but his emotion bubbles as he talks. A slight curl to his lip as he chastises Jesse for his careless action. 

“Hanzo,” Jesse starts, trying to reach for his husband’s free hand, but it’s smacked away. He’ll let Hanzo take affection as he wants it then. 

Jesse’s face is solemn, “Hanzo, I am so sorry. I love you.”

“You do? How nice,” Hanzo says, with a cocked eyebrow. 

“Darlin’ you could use me as target practice, and I’d still love ya as much as I did the day I married ya.”

“That does not sound like a bad idea. You would make for an easy target.”

Jesse tucks the unruly strands of hair falling into his face behind his ear. He rubs the back of his neck. He knows he really fucked up.

“Sweet pea, I really am sorry. I didn’t think about it. I mean I did, but I didn’t think about how it’d affect you.”

Hanzo studies Jesse’s face. His intent and his words are sincere, but it doesn’t fix things. The much-needed conversation took the tensity out of the room, but Jesse knew he was still in some hot water. 

“What about Genji?”

“I was just with him, actually. He said the plan itself was pretty ingenious, even if the result was infuriating. I couldn’t argue with that. I think we’re good. Stuff like that has happened to us before, so he came around faster than I thought he would, but I know I’m still on his shit list.”

Hanzo hums in approval. “I must say that you deserve more credit for such an elaborate scheme like the one you pulled. Very calculated, however not completely thought out.”

“I ain’t a mastermind, but one of my biggest assets is the power of other people’s underestimation.”

Hanzo smells the orchid, then sets it gently on his desk. He rubs the soft petals with the tips of his fingers. 

“The flower is lovely, thank you.”

“Anything for you, darlin’.”

A playful smirk across Hanzo’s face accompanies a sensual, ”Anything?”

Jesse’s face immediately begins to redden. He’s not sure what to do with this sudden change in attitude. 

“Course, anything.”

Hanzo steps closer to him. A hand finds it’s way into Jesse’s own, tugging him flush against Hanzo’s chest. Jesse leans down to kiss Hanzo, only to be met with a sharp cheekbone instead of soft lips. Hanzo stands on his toes to reach Jesse’s ear, his free hand holding Jesse’s jaw still in a commanding grip.

“How is this for an early grave?,” he purrs. His silver tongue will be Jesse’s undoing. Hanzo unlaced his fingers from Jesse's, hooking them into Jesse's belt loops to pull his body completely flush against him. He feels Jesse’s hands resting on the small of his back.

His breath hitches, “honeybee, I uhh...” 

“What’s the matter? Nothing to say? Hmm...unfortunate.”

Hanzo undoes Jesse’s belt buckle, pulling his belt out of his pants in one fell swoop and letting it drop to the ground with a clang. 

“Not such a ‘bad ass mother fucker now’, are you?”

Jesse groans. The strong hold on his neck and jaw from just one of Hanzo’s hands is enough to get him hard. Hanzo uses the hand on Jesse to push him down onto the desk chair. He forces his husband to look up at him. The harsh lighting from the room is so kind to Hanzo’s features. His face looks like it could have been carved from marble. Hanzo lets go of Jesse’s face and crosses his arms, appearing to harshly inspect him. 

“Are we pickin’ up where we left off on the phone now, darlin’?”

Jesse was hopeful that this was the case. He was painfully aware of his growing erection. 

Hanzo’s voice still a sultry purr, “If you would like.”

Jesse nods, “Please?”

Hanzo straddles Jesse, wrapping his arms around his neck. Jesse’s hands rest on Hanzo’s waist. He tries to kiss Hanzo’s lips, but is met with cheekbone and neck. Jesse whines in protest at Hanzo’s blatant rejection. He takes the opportunity to slide a hand up to the back of Hanzo’s head, holding him by his hair and beginning to feverishly bite his neck. Each scrape of teeth was soothed by a wet tongue. A breathy moan escapes Hanzo’s lips before he can catch himself. He grinds his hips down into Jesse’s, eliciting a groan that rumbled against his throat. Jesse is taken aback when he's yanked away from Hanzo's throat by a fist of his hair. Hanzo gives him a chastising look.

Hanzo runs his hands down Jesse’s chest, dragging them lower until he gets to his pants. He undoes the button and lowers the zipper. Jesse's large cock protrudes from the waistband of his boxers. Hanzo goes into a desk drawer, fishing out the lube. He pops the cap open and squeezes just enough into his hand that Jesse won't get friction burns. Not bothering to warm it up, Hanzo takes Jesse's cock in his hands and slowly strokes from the bottom up. He rubs his thumb in small circles over the slit. Jesse was growing a bit impatient. This slow pace was keeping him aroused, but not doing enough to get him going any further.

Jesse’s hands find bruising purchase on Hanzo's hips. He was being teased. Hanzo was kissing him everywhere but his lips. Gently, unhurriedly, infuriatingly unsatisfying. The soft graze of Hanzo's lips on his body and the stroking of his cock was driving him insane. Each stroke Hanzo made with a little twist at the end made Jesse jerk under Hanzo. The cowboy was reduced to writhing into his hand. Desperate moans leave Jesse's lips as Hanzo quickens his pace.

“Shit, darlin’, I'm close..”

Hanzo gives two quick strokes that leave him on the edge of orgasm when he suddenly stops. 

“W-wait, sugar, what’re-”

“Quiet.” Jesse is prompted to silence with a finger to his lips. The roguish smirk on Hanzo's face couldn't mean anything good. Jesse's face was flushed pink. 

“You may finish by your own hand, if you would like.” Hanzo’s cunning glance cuts through Jesse like a sword through butter.

“Are you serious?”

“Completely.”

Hanzo wipes off the layer of precome and lube on his hand with Jesse’s shirt. He gets up, leaving a flustered Jesse with his dick out and jaw hanging open in astonishment. After washing his hands, Hanzo gets back in bed, getting comfortable under the blankets with a shit eating grin plastered on his face that Jesse can’t see. Flowers are nice and all, but he’s going to have to do better than that. 

Revenge of the cowboy indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The only other time Jesse has seen Hanzo cry is the day they got married. 
> 
> hope the smut was bearable it was my first time writing it


End file.
